Natural burial – it’s against nature!
Natural burial ticks alot of eco-boxes—but how many emo-boxes? They’re good for butterflies and vetches and voles and honeysuckle—but are they any good for living people? They may satisfy the head, but can they ever satisfy the heart?
Over in the US, Thomas Friese is developing his website, Perpetua’s Garden, as a place where people can debate human and environmental needs in the matter of memorialising their dead and, he hopes, discover solutions which will enable cemeteries of the future to fulfil a satisfactory dual function. I am indebted to Mr Friese for enriching my own thinking about the matter, and for the link to the following story.
Here in the UK, there’s trouble up at t’natural burial ground in Bridport, Dorset. Angry grievers have, according to the local paper, branded it an “overgrown disgrace”. Most of the graves are now covered by a sea of grass and weeds just as nature intended. Mrs Jill Tuck can no longer see her brother’s grave. When she complained to the council (the owner), she was told she was not supposed to be able to see it. Mrs Tuck is having none of that. She and her husband are going to strim the burial ground. In what we may take to be injured tones, the council protests that they’re not supposed to do that, nor should they plant trees “willy-nilly”.
The council has a point, of course. Mrs Tuck seems completely to have missed the point of natural burial. And it’s not as if the council did not spell out what she was signing up for:
The woodland burial area offers a natural form of burial in an area of wood and grassland and is situated at the far eastern end of the Cemetery. The site contributes towards the creation of a sanctuary for wild plants, birds, butterflies and other small wildlife.
Trees, shrubs and hedges have been planted and pathways cut in the field where wild flowers grow. The burial area is managed to create a peaceful area in natural surroundings. Accordingly, a natural environment is being created and developed that is comforting to visitors and future generations.
But was this enough information to enable Mrs Tuck to make a radical decision at a time of great grief? Was she very carefully talked through her decision? Was she brought to an understanding that natural burial means making what is emotionally a very tough choice because it means, literally, losing the plot?
The two hardest things about natural burial: it gives you nowhere to go (no demarcated grave to stand beside) and nothing to do. Sure, yes, it’s not the grave that commemorates the life, it’s the entire site. But here’s the point: is this site a memorial landscape or is it just any old landscape? What makes it a memorial landscape? And can a landscape like this meet the emotional needs of any but a very few?
Mrs Tuck is not alone. Mrs Henley-Coulson buried her husband in the natural burial ground at Bridport. After two years the grave was so overgrown she lost her way—and started tending someone else’s grave by mistake. Did anyone carefully explain to Mrs Henley-Coulson before she committed herself that you don’t tend graves in a natural burial ground; that it’s not the the grave that commemorates the life, it’s...
Mrs Henley-Coulson has planted bluebells, primroses and cowslips. On the wrong grave. As she rightly says, “Someone is going to have a surprise in the spring.”
She goes on to make some good points. She says:
“Your head is all over the place when you lose someone ... Ideally I would like a meeting with the council. I feel they should give leaflets stating what your rights are and what you can expect ... I want to know what rules apply – are we allowed to cut the grass ourselves, are we allowed to plant bulbs? What type of trees will they plant themselves and will the grass disappear when they are established or will it resemble a wildflower meadow? All these things are important. We, and I mean everybody, have just suffered a bereavement and cannot always think logically. In my own case I had to make the decision and on reflection feel it may have been the wrong one.”
Stand at any natural burial ground and watch the visitors. Most have eyes for only one thing: the grave. Everything else is peripheral.
Labels: natural burial
posted by Charles Cowling at
13:05
8 Comments:
Thanks Charles for your comments but not every woodland burial ground is so chaotic. At our woodland www.woodlandburialtrust.com there are wooden markers and memorials which clearly indicate where loved ones lie. Trees can be planted and we keep the grassy glades mown and tidy. Of course 70 years later the woodland will look different and nature will have changed the landscape. However at that time there will be few who have living memory of those who have died. Relatives will still be able to locate the resting place because we keep meticulous records.
However for the time being our woodland is so well cared for and families love to come and visit.
Trees and wildlife, none of those serried ranks of tombstones. Take a look at our website and tell me that it is not one of the loveliest places on earth!
Charles Royden
http://www.woodlandburialtrust.com
It is important, first of all, to distinguish between the many different types of natural burial ground, and what each offers, instead of assuming that every natural burial ground has similar management and maintenance practices, or acts like the one mentioned in the initial blog posting here.
Some natural burial grounds give a choice to families: of burying in grass or wildflower meadow, or in an area where trees can be planted on graves. Some natural burial grounds allow plaques on graves, either flat on the ground in meadows or on posts beside trees. At our site, Sun Rising Natural Burial Ground (south Warwickshire), plaques are allowed beside trees but not in meadows. As a result, there is a clear distinction between graves that can be marked and those that can't. People choose meadow burials knowing that graves will blend into the grassland - and examples are pointed out by staff. People choose meadow graves because they like that sense of becoming a fully and undifferentiated part of the environment.
However, there is an important balance to be acheived in terms of maintenance. At Sun Rising, areas of new burials are kept tidy, with grass and paths mown more often than the annual cut done elsewhere. Thus for the first few years it should be easy to find the grave.
Grief does indeed cloud our vision, and natural places change every day, light and growth altering our perspective and reference points, but a well run burial ground will have staff available to meet a family at any time and help ease any doubt or uncertainty. There is no need for anyone to worry that they have lost or will lose a grave. Cooperating with families is what this work is all about.
As time passes, woodland and meadow establishing more fully, some graves will tend to disappear. It is crucial that families are clear that this is more likely to happen if a grave is within a woodland area; families should be given the choice of a grave on the edge or in the midst of a burial area, somewhere by a longterm path or somewhere that will become rich with growth.
There is a difference between a natural burial ground that is very informal, where nature is left to do its thing, and one that is more closely maintained. Some natural burial grounds are much closer to conventional cemeteries, some are barely more than fields, and families need to choose which suits them. If you are expecting neat paths, and would wish to have stone memorials, flower vases and spinners, or leave teddy bears and windchimes, then the average natural burial ground is not for you.
Actually, further to the blog above, many natural burial grounds don't allow families to plant bulbs themselves. Most will offer bulbs to families, guide them in the planting, or otherwise work alongside families. If that sort of oversight is not in place, a natural burial ground will end up with Spanish bluebells and Dutch tulips, not only detracting from the natural feel of the place, but in some cases detrimentally affecting the aims of the site to create sanctuaries for native flora and fauna.
When a natural burial ground is new, it can indeed be harder to show families just what the graves will look like in ten or twenty years time, let alone 150 years. We depend on pictures drawn and imagination provoked using clear descriptions gently imparted. However, there is difference between a tatty burial ground and one that is carefully maintained; natural burial grounds are not memorial gardens though. They are always going to be more nature than garden.
I would encourage families interested in natural burial grounds to see a few, talk to the management, and ask lots and lots of questions.
Charles- your article on natural burial grounds is excellent for highlighting some of the potential problems that lie in wait for those establishing new grounds, or those perhaps running one without clear vision as to its maintenance, purpose and long-term aims. It is vital that clear rules and regulations are both established and adhered to in order for that vision to be achieved. Having now been established for almost 10 years, we are able to show people how a grave might look in 5-10 years' time. We do permit the placing of wooden markers on graves, and keep meticulous records of all grave locations. We do make it clear that no gardening is allowed, but families may add to the wild flowers on the site in accordance with our guidance leaflets. We do, however, ensure that the meadow areas where the burials take place are mown at least twice a year, so that they remain visible, and are not permanently covered in straggly growth. In doing so, we take into account the wild flower seasons and the needs of nesting birds and other wildlife.
We too say: look at our website and see how wonderful it is to be at one with nature in such a beautiful setting!
Deryn Coe, Arbory Trust Administrator.
http://www.arborytrust.org
This from Rosie Inman-Cook at the Natural Death Centre (she's the manager)- www.naturaldeath.org.uk. Rosie welcomes calls from members of the public on all aspects of funeral arrangements, especially, of course, green issues and family arranged funerals. She will give you knowledgeable and impartial advice.
Says Rosie:
The problem as I see it is that municipal cemetery clerks are not used to meeting with families before funerals, their contact is usually administrative post burial. As has been pointed out bereaved people don't take printed literature onboard, I feel that a face to face explanation of the implications of natural burial is the only way to ensure that families understand clearly.
Normally clerks deal purely with the FDs, families have no other reason to meet them, they are just next in line.
When I send my next email out to the municipal 'green corners' I will highlight this breakdown in communication and suggest that they change the way they operate. I would imagine they think that the Funeral Directors will explain things, and as part of the FDs professional care I would want this to be the case. However I suspect that habitat management and the aims of the natural burial sections might well pass them by.
When it comes to locating unmarked graves I have always photocopied the relevant section of map and given this to people so that they can locate their loved one's grave. Most people can understand a 1-100 scale. Again the clerk or manager should be available to help families who may have completely lost the plot.
There are several sites that are only planting large tree species, this means that very few families get a tree. I would like to see more planting of underwood, this creates a more diverse habitat and provides extra reference points.
The implication of meadow burials needs even clearer explanation and location technique.
If anyone wants to pick my remaining brain cells regarding mapping and other problem avoidance then feel free.
Rosie at the NDC
TARN MOOR MEMORIAL WOODLAND. SKIPTON
As stated, all natural woodland burial sites seem to have their own interpretation of 'Natural'.
As manager of Tarn Moor, I meet all families either choosing a plot for an immediate interment or simply planning for the future. A great deal of time is spent talking and explaining to families how the site works. We do not plant a tree per person, as they would be far to close together, and we wish to avoid upsetting anyone when the inevitable thinning out process would take place and cause distress if a relative's tree has been cut. A dedicated Oak tree per 16 people is our policy, with nursery crop trees around them, but not applicable to any person. We also have open glade areas, including one for pets and people. Our Planted areas are fenced as we graze the rest of the site with sheep and need to protect our trees until they are strong.
The area inside the fence, and around most of our graves, is hand mown on a monthly basis, so it is quite easy for families to find their grave. The accurate assettrac microchip is for management identification, and memorial engravings can be placed on large local stone adjacent to the site.
We believe there is a fine line between the site being natural but also being maintained and not becoming a wilderness. On a practical note, is is very difficult to dig a grave in long unkept grass, and unsightly when the funeral takes place. It is also important to leave some of the docs and thistles (which we do around the edges)for the insects and birds. We have introduced an apiary near the site which our local bee keepers tend.
I believe it is the important job of the manager or overseeing council to explain the long term maintenance and working of the site. More people are forward thinking and coming to talk, plan and reserve a plot, which obviously makes it so much easier for them to take the site workings on board.
At the end of the day there are natural burial grounds with different interpretations, and as long as the site's policy is explained well, we are here to offer freedom of choice.
That may be type of ceremony, coffin, involvement and in this case 'wild natural' or 'maintained natural'.
As manager of a natural site, and experienced a family loss myself, I am very proud to be part of Tarn Moor, and know we are offering a much needed service.
Wendy Pratt
Tarn Moor Memorial Woodland. Skipton. North Yorks
www.tarnmoor.co.uk
Runnerup - green cemetery of the year award 2008
Ineresting, that all the comments on this piece come from natural burial ground owners/managers/experts, and very good points you make too. But are you being defensive? You do all you can to inform the public. You provide a much-needed alternative to the traditional burial places. Nobody could ask more of you.
However, as an interested person in the funeral profession, my first impression is that the overall feel of the comments is like... well, like an overgrown field full of long grass and hidden creatures. Too much detailed information, hard to grasp at first sight, and it's first sight that informs the decisions of the recently bereaved. They don't hear most of what's said to them, and they need carefully accompanying on their reluctant journey of discovery by someone who's attuned to what's going on in their minds, and who knows how to make sure their decisions are aware, more than simply informed. What it comes down to is that it is us F.D.s whose responsibility it is to make it CLEAR to people what they're getting into when they opt for a natural burial site (or anything else), because we're the ones they spend most time with and have most to do with when deciding on funeral arrangements. We have to be asking them what they want from the chosen place of burial - an identifiable plot, a nice place to visit and dream of their lost love, a feeling they've given him or her a resting place that would have been appreciated? - so that we can help them understand whether a cemetery, or woodland burial ground, or their own back garden, or opting for cremation after all, will give it to them.
I had to bite my lip when a Cruse (bereavement care) client made a comment to the effect that, "She's buried at the green site, so she's turned to compost now." Didn't the F.D. explain she'd be methane and sludge, the same as in any grave? No. He must have simply left the poor chap with his pathetic illusion, perhaps he didn't even give the matter a moment's thought... and I felt obliged to collude with him to spare my client the unnecessary grief spoken about above, but ashamed of the myths about 'green' funerals that we funeraries ought to be challenging. And I must add here that after spending the day at the green funeral exhibition last year, my feeling on going home was that it missed the point with its posturing about green credentials.
The point is that someone has died. End of story, literally, and everything else is secondary, but crucially important nonetheless. We can't predict what that will be for a given individual, but we must not assume they know it themselves, even after we've told them a dozen times what's what.
Another natural burial ground in trouble here: http://www.brentwoodweeklynews.co.uk/news/localnews/4672266.Tidy_graves_rule_sparks_anger/
I had previously though a woodland burial was a brilliant idea.
That was until I attended a funeral at one yesterday...Now - if you excuse the pun, you wouldn't catch me dead in one...Well at least not the one I saw yesterday anyway.
The much touted eco-friendly and sustainable status of this site seemed to equate to "We can ignore any maintenance and let it get totally overgrown and they won't dare complain - and it's far cheaper this way too." Just stick up some nest boxes and put a few field maples in around the place and that's it.
My biggest concern was that graves from only a few years ago would have been virtually impossible to find as there were brambles growing over them. Sorry but as already said above, the living people left behind need a bit of compassion extended to them too.
Therefore I was very pleased to see some of the comments above by Charles Royden and others especially about markers, and being easy to find the graves at least for the first few years. You could see where one poor family had tried to make a cross out of a bit of hazel branch to mark an overgrown grave.
A comment heard from more than one person at the funeral I attended was "They don't half pack them in tight don't they - you would have thought they would have provided a bit more space"
I am a regular walker in nature reserves and can tell you that even nature reserves usually have at least some degree of maintenance.
Yesterday I came away not only sad at the loss of a friend - but feeling totally cheated that something that should have been lovely appeared to be just a good way to use a scrubby bit of waste ground to make money. And if you can sell it to people as eco-friendly then you can get away with just about anything.
I honestly felt very disturbed and very much cheated by the the whole experience.
I'm thinking meadows with a few grazing sheep are a better idea, at least it wouldn't involve relatives fighting their way through the undergrowth!
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