The world of death has given birth to very few websites of any value or beauty. Most undertakers are technodunces; many do not even rise to email.
What’s more, there is very little discussion of death and dying going on in this country (the UK) just now. I have far more responses to this blog from the New World than from the Old. Wake up, Blighty! Wake up, Natural Death Centre!
If one were to award a prize to a deathly website – let’s call it the Good Funeral Guide Website of the Year Award – one would award it unhesitatingly to green fuse. Full marks for design, clarity, navigability and overall loveliness. Honourable Mentions to The Green Funeral Company and Family Tree.
The Best Read Award goes just as unhesitatingly to the Suffolk Humanists and Secularists. This is a cheat, really, because this site is not dedicated exclusively by any means to mortality. But what it says about funerals is written with such a marvellous blend of matter-of-factness and emotional good sense that you don’t stop there. The design is superb, too.
It also contains a brilliant celebratory masterstroke, a card you can (if you are godlessly inclined) download, print off and send to your atheistical friends on Darwin Day. I love it.
Go get it.
What’s more, there is very little discussion of death and dying going on in this country (the UK) just now. I have far more responses to this blog from the New World than from the Old. Wake up, Blighty! Wake up, Natural Death Centre!
If one were to award a prize to a deathly website – let’s call it the Good Funeral Guide Website of the Year Award – one would award it unhesitatingly to green fuse. Full marks for design, clarity, navigability and overall loveliness. Honourable Mentions to The Green Funeral Company and Family Tree.
The Best Read Award goes just as unhesitatingly to the Suffolk Humanists and Secularists. This is a cheat, really, because this site is not dedicated exclusively by any means to mortality. But what it says about funerals is written with such a marvellous blend of matter-of-factness and emotional good sense that you don’t stop there. The design is superb, too.
It also contains a brilliant celebratory masterstroke, a card you can (if you are godlessly inclined) download, print off and send to your atheistical friends on Darwin Day. I love it.
Go get it.
Labels: something for the weekend
posted by Charles Cowling at
17:22
4 Comments:
Yes I have to agree that Greenfuse’s new website has been really well done.. and thegreenfuneralcompany have had a revamp since I last looked at it – and it’s looking great.
However I have a bit of a gripe about what’s written about funeral etiquette in the fantastically informative but very opinionated suffolkhands website - I do not mean to be rude but it’s a bit like hearing my Nan moaning at me for wearing a skirt that’s 3mm above my knee!!! I feel Margaret Nelson has failed to understand some aspects of youth culture, and neither has she taken into account that it takes all sorts to make up this world... and who are we to judge what is wrong! People have their own ideals and opinions, and there are usually a whole myriad of factors that have shaped their lives and made them who they are today. My point is, although I understand that people may be seen to act strange, and in Margret’s opinion wearing big hats and gold jewellery maybe strange, but it’s who they are and seeing as its their husbands/ dad funeral, I think they have a right to wear what they want and not be judged. As for the comment about ‘crusty’ new age hippies - I feel maybe a little respect of other human beings and their choices is maybe what’s needed here... sorry to be all righteous!!
OK, I'm probably old enough to be your gran, though I've not been known to moan about skirt lengths. I used to wear a pelmet when I was younger and my legs were gorgeous, pre-varicose veins.
You refer to our site, and my "failure" to understand some aspects of youth culture. It's strange that the page I assume you're referring to, on funeral etiquette, was written with my tongue in my cheek, certainly not meant to be a definitive guide to behaviour, yet it's found through search engines almost every day and had been read 15193 times to date. I don't suppose many people find it that useful, if they seriously want to know what to wear, etc. Of course people have a right to wear what they like, and nothing is "strange" as far as I'm concerned. After doing as many funerals as I have, nothing surprises me, and the only behaviour I disapprove of is bad behaviour, such as talking loudly through a tribute, drunkenness, or starting an argument - all of which have happened at funerals I've conducted.
As for the "crusties" - it was a word that was used to describe the deceased and his friends by his siblings and parents, who all loved him just as he was, though they despaired of his amiable hopelessness and frequent requests for money.
I think you've got the wrong end of my stick, Sentiment, and you do sound a little bit self-righteous, if you don't mind me saying so.
By the way, I firmly reject the notion that one should always be respectful about people, just because they've been bereaved - the "Sunday Voice" that Joyce Grenfell referred to in her poem. Many behave no better when they've lost someone than they do the rest of the time, and I've seen plenty of examples of ostensibly grieving widows thoroughly enjoying being the centre of attention, with or without big hats, at the expense of the feelings of other members of the family. It's not a matter of judging people; it's about understanding them. There have been times when I've had to ensure that I could speak to some relatives in private, to ensure that their contributions shouldn't be ignored, when a more demanding member of the family was dominating the proceedings.
If I wasn’t any good at what I do (or did, since I’m now more or less retired), I wouldn’t get so many requests for my services, or as many recommendations. One thing that people have often mentioned has been my “honesty”.
Perhaps you might read my death blog – but you might not like that either.
Hi Aphra
I used to have great pair of legs too but that dam cellulite has reached my knees so my Nan’s probably doing me a favour by moaning at me to cover them up!!!
I did not in any way mean to be rude, I just wanted to explain from my view point why I felt parts of the funeral etiquette were a bit harsh and why it riled me a little.
As I said before I think your site is great and very informative, but I felt your comments on the people you were referring to in that section were a little derogatory. I understand it was tongue in cheek, even so still I feel that your descriptions on the people were judgemental. When reading it I felt you didn’t take into account that people react / dress / act like the do for many reasons. You probably did, but I didn’t read it that way and neither did my husband or my brother in- law (who is forever the eternal diplomat!)
I know funerals bring out the worst in us all – and yes it’s no excuse for rude behaviour and at no point did I suggest that “one should always be respectful about people, just because they've been bereaved” I merely meant the wife /daughter or the bereaved in general can where what they like to a funeral seeing as we are in 2009 and not 1889! And who are we to judge how and why they react in ways that may baffle... my point is there may well be a good reason for it!
I get your points on the funerals etiquette. In fact I agree with everything you are saying about being quiet and polite etc etc I have had my own experience of rude folks talking during the funeral, I recall a point where my blood boiled so much I had strong hallucinations of chucking a bible as someone’s head to shut them up... (i withheld that urge!)
Also, at no point did I ever question you doing a good job, and if old Charles bigs you up you must be fab....!
... Look at the end of the day I was just saying its came across a little rude to people who choose to dress like that, even when it is tongue in cheek it can offend and even hurt some of the 15000 folks who visit your website! And YES I was being righteous and protective, and I’m sorry, but I have an understanding that people can behave in what we see as unacceptable ways but there’s normally a story behind their actions (from the way they were brought up to what the world had shown them and we need to remember that)
..... and not everyone can be as perfect as you and I ;o)
I have subscribed to you blog and look forward to our banter in the future
No statement is ever definitive, no matter how definitive. Armstrongs funeral directors in Bury St Edmunds has a very, very good website -- and, what's more, a very promising looking blog. Find it here:http://www.armstrongsfuneralservice.co.uk/index.html
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