Tuesday 16 September 2008

Good grief!

A ceremony to mark the end of a marriage. A funeral for a marriage.

 

What do you think?

 

The concept comes to us from (I think) Australia, the country which pioneered the secular funeral ceremony. One practitioner in this field is Jennifer Cram. I wonder how may others there are?

 

Of course, if you’re into the business of celebrancy, it makes sense to expand your portfolio by devising as many sorts of ceremony as you can dream up. Jennifer does ceremonies for: ‘the loving commitment of partners who are not marrying; the naming and welcoming of a child into the family; renewal of marriage vows for couples celebrating staying married; the end of a relationship; reaching puberty or maturity (wise-woman ceremonies also known as croning); launching of businesses or other ventures…’ She even does relinquishment ceremonies for parents giving a child up for adoption. She’s staked out her patch.

 

Obviously, it’s funerals for marriages that interest us. And, do you know, whatever your incredulity is telling you, there’s actually lots of symmetry with funerals for dead people (she’s jolly clever, is Jennifer). Without using the word liminality once, here’s what her marriage funeral addresses: ‘issues of endings, separation, and letting go (disappointment, anger, sadness, fear and trying to achieve closure); issues of acceptance, forgiveness, becoming open to new beginnings and new possibilities.’ To get the whole picture, click here.

 

For what other emotional thresholds might you devise a funeral ceremony? 


The death of youthful dreams and ambitions, perhaps…

 

Do say! 

2 Comments:

Blogger Antler said...

Can you give me exact dates and times when Australialand pioneered 'secular' funerals for the world.........I have very fond Antipodean connections - but in my experience in most things funarial (except the 'charming' whiteness of the white ladies gloves) they lag behind us further west.

I would beg to assert that the real pioneers of any kind of secular and alternative funerals - and indeed those who changed the face of funerals for the rest of us - were those (mostly gay and mostly guys - but not all) who perished, often without the support of any kind of convention,(religious or otherwise) from AIDS.

Look at what was going on in the USA and the UK well before the secular movement was heterocised in Aus and elsewhere...and tell me then that I wasn't paying attention.

We taught the world a few things about rhetoric against death, as well as doing it for ourselves!!!

I am sure we were at the secular stuff first - the hand-made funeral services, the balloons and colourful coffins. It's not a race to the death, but two things enter my mind. One of them is invisibility, the other thing was that doing death in our community opened doors that gave permission for others to express themselves in a much less rigid way.

I was too busy coping with it all to watch what Aussies were up to, so I would be glad to hear what you think and when they were supposed to be pioneering...

(I know lots about bush burials - which often had to be secular. I just want to know modern mainstreem stuff - with or without the cans of lager).

17 September 2008 at 00:00  
Blogger Antler said...

My other 1/2 tells me that Aussies have been doing it for themselves for years and years and that I should wash my mouth out!!!!

So I am doing some research ;-)

Such excitement.........such a world of interesting things/thoughts/beliefs...

xxxx

20 September 2008 at 18:52  

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